The Next Chapter

All in all this new house thing is going great. DH and I fight a lot less and we have a lot more room to spread out and not be in each others way, a townhouse with 2 couples got very cramped very fast. DH and I went to the Dr's appt last week and it went pretty much how I thought it would go. Dr. W, who I've been seeing since I was 16 and first dx me with PCOS, is really hopeful that it will happen soon. She put me on Clo.mid starting day 3 of my cycle and I'm pretty nervous about it. I know its a low dose and all but I'm a board junkie and have read all the SE of this drug. Also there is that feeling of failure. If this doesn't work, then what? Where do we go from there? I just sit here praying that for once my body does something right and this makes me ovulate and we don't have to head down the road of things we can't afford, i.e. Injections, IUI, IVF, Surrogacy, and Adoption. I could really use some advice from people who know what I'm going through on how to get through this, and what to expect next. I don't have anyone IRL who is infertile and TTC, so my boards and my blogs are all I have. It's amazing how excited I get when I read someone has gotten a BFP on a blog I read. I'm happier for these people than my RL friends! LOL.

I am currently reading a book called "The Conception Chronicles", and I like it so far. To know that there are people out there who have the same thoughts and problems I do. It's been almost 22 months of trying and I don't want to lose hope. I've lost over 30lbs and am making sure I take my meds religiously. DH and I had a talk the other morning about him being more supportive, and I'm hoping he sticks to his word. So I'm begging to the Clo.mid gods, please, please, please work.

I haven't been back to the back dr since I had my last MRI. I have been working sooo much because we're shorthanded and I just don't have the time with the new house, other dr appointments and stuff like that. So really nothing new there. The pain was getting managable, at least not as painful as a year ago, but since I've been working more it's coming back slowly but surely. I read a book called "Mind Over Back Pain" by Dr. John Sarno. I'm really trying to put my mind over the back pain but sometimes it just doesn't work.

Anyway I think I've complained about my life enough, lol. My puppy is doing great and I could watch her for hours do the crazy things she does. She's 50 lbs and thinks she is a lapdog. Literally. She jumps in my lap when I'm least expecting it. She is so cute and I don't know how I ever lived without her. She is so excited when I come home from work and brightens my day when I walk in the door from a bad day. So until next time.....