5DPO

Today is 5 DPO and no symptoms. Lately I've been having a headache everyday when I wake up, thats the only difference but I can get that from allergies too. Nothing yet but it's still early. I will be testing on October 5th...1 day after DH and I's 1 year anniversary. I think if I have symptoms (real symptoms- not those of an obsessive 2wwer) I will test on our anniversay because that would be an amazing gift. If I don't have any I will just wait til the next day so I can actually enjoy our anniversary.

I can't believe that summer is already over. I keep thinking that if I am pregnant I will be due in July. I have always said I did not want to be 9 months pregnant in the middle of summer- that was before I was infertile. Now I will be 9 months pregnant in any month- just to have a baby.

O

Pretty sure I O'd between last night and today. I came home from work last night and (TMI) had a tinge of blood when I wiped, so of course I think it's AF. I crawl in bed, google "Ovulation bleeding", and become ecstatic that this could actually be working! Apparently when you O your estrogen drops, just like when AF comes and sometimes women bleed when they O. So I woke DH up and BD and hope for the best. It was gone when I woke up today so no early AF thank goodness. Maybe it is my month!

Here's Hoping

Friday I had my 12 day u/s. It went ok. We saw some follicles, but as the Dr. said over and over and over again they were really little. She said I would possibly O 4 days from then, which makes it tomorrow. The plan is to BD today, tomorrow, and wednesday. Thats going to be a feat in itself. I work at night tonight and wed. Soo that means I have to wake him up when I get home, not the easiest thing to do. DH gets up early, like really early and doesn't get home until late. So its not something I'm looking forward to. If I don't get a BFP this month, the Dr. will put me on 150mg of the Clo.mid. Hopefully without another u/s, as everytime I go in there I get the same person to check me in. And it wouldn't be so bad except there are about 6 people who check people in and everytime I get the girl who is like 7 months pregnant. Everytime. Then I get to walk over and read pregnancy magazines. So here's hoping I actually O this time.

Today..

Today I have my day 12 U/S. Since it's my first I'm not really quite sure what to expect but I'm hoping we see some follicles. DH and I BD'd on day 9 and 11. I was hoping for more but it was like pulling teeth to get that. I think he's stressed and he made a comment about how it was becoming a chore. I'm trying to make a decision about whether to tell him when I'm ovulating or not. He may know but I try not to make a big deal about it. I'm not sure if this cycle, and the next don't work, I may take a break. After 2 years of trying and 3 cycles of clo.mid we may deserve a much needed break. I know I probably will. After taking each cycle I suffered and emotional and mental breakdown, I couldn't stop crying and DH thinks I'm crazy. I had my chihuahua on lap yesterday and started crying because I had the "I'll never have a baby" thoughts, I'll only have a dog. I wonder if I'm the only one who feels like they're going nuts after taking the clo.mid. We'll see what happens. Hopefully this cycle works.

U/S and more meds

Yesterday I had my ultrsound to check after my first round of Clo.mid. The Dr. said everything looked good, nice comfy uterus and no cysts. She started me on 100mg Clo.mid and I go back on day 12 for a check. We'll see what happens next. Cramps today are so bad I can hardly move. ugh.

She's Here.

AF showed. And she's here in full force. :( I knew it was coming but I always hold out a little hope. Last night I came out of the bathroom crying and DH was actually very supportive. He even got me to laugh. I love him.

1st 2ww

So I'm at the very end of the 2ww. I test wednesday. But of course I couldn't wait and tested saturday. Hey I just couldn't walk past the hall closet one more time without grabbing a test. Anyway just as I suspected, BFN. I have some sore boobs and some cramping. I really don't get the sore boobs before I start so that must have been from the Clo.mid. But I'm guessing AF is on her way. I hope it waits until tomorrow because I need to get my U/S before day 5 and its easier if I can call the day I start to actually get in there in time. So anyway another month of meds and lots of BD. DH and I haven't BDed since over a week ago when we had to. It was our first month of actual scheduled BD and we couldn't handle it, lol. I hope we enjoy this next month a whooole lot better. I hope I'm wrong but I don't have any "pregnant" feelings.