26

On this day in 1983, at 4:09 pm my mother gave birth to a sweet baby girl. She grew up with two loving parents and 2 brothers. She was riding horses at the age of 1 and could write in cursive before kindergarten. At age 13 she moved in with her dad and finally went to one school for the rest of her school days. She graduated with honors from that school in a class of 85 in 2002. She then met the love of her life, married him, they bought a house together, and have 3 furbabys. Now she can't wait to have her own sweet little baby to give them all those things she had. Happy Birthday to me. :)

I know I'm usually whining on here (hey it is my blog) but today I'm grateful for all the things I've had, done, and have now. And maybe one day my dream will come true and I will hold my own little one in my arms like my mom got to do 26 years ago.

I've finished my Clo.mid and DH and I have begun our BD marathon, lol. What a great birthday present it would be if I finally got pregnant. I don't have high hopes since it was such a low dose, but miracles do happen!

Today my best friend and I are going to the zoo and have lunch. Then tonight a bunch of us are going to the cheesecake factory. I remember when birthdays meant drinking it up and waking up hungover the next day and now I wouldn't dream of drinking even one sip! So today I'm going to sit back and enjoy all the things I DO have and dwell on the things I want tomorrow.

1983



2008

Embarassed..

I went to work last night in an ok mood. I was just really tired, which for me is the norm lately. I've been at my job for about 6 months now and I know the girls pretty well and I've shared a little of the TTC journey with them, not too much. Pretty much just the oh yeah DH and I are trying. Towards the end of the night I go to use the restroom and of course I find (sorry TMI) spotting on my panty liner. I decide I'm going to suck it up, and I head back out to start cleaning, but first I try to call DH. 1/2 hour later and about my 6th call to DH, who isn't answering the phone, I completely break down into tears and I can't stop. My coworker has no idea why and I'm totally mortified. How do you explain to someone that you just started, something they do every month, and it's devastating because not only are you not pregnant, you have to start fertility drugs. Something you've been dreading. I feel so embarassed about my actions last night, I'm usually the "comic relief" type person. Always making jokes, and trying to lighten the mood in a stressful time at work (we're having a computer conversion, and changing our whole filing system). Anyway so it's officially CD 1 today and I'm depressed and in a foul mood of course....onto a new chapter...

Ready, Set, Ovulate!

Last night I finished taking my pro.metrium and I should start within the next few days. Last month I was late by over 2 weeks! Of course that set off a round of do my boobs hurt?, am I nauseous?, and taking mulitple tests by me and doctors. Anyway on day 3 I will begin my Clo.mid. I dont think with the 50mg I would have any side effects. And a girl that I went to highschool with got pregnant on her first round. I know thats probably not likely for me but it gives me hope.

DH and I sat down last night and I went over with him the same directions the Dr gave us. I'm taking this on day 3, we have to BD at least every other day from day 9 until day 20. DH isn't like any other guy, I actually have a higher sex drive than him, so for him this isn't like a dream come true. I then told him I will put up a calendar keeping track of my cycle, and he asked me if that was neccesary and of course I told him it was since he doesn't know my cycle day off the top of his head like I do. So that's about it for now. Just waiting to finally ovulate.