Out of Town..again.

Soo it's kinda been awhile. I didn't know if this blogging thing was for me or not, but once I started getting my feelings out and then went back and read them it made me glad that I could put them into words and then go back and read it. I got back on my Metfor.min right after my last blog and I ended up starting AF on my own and possibly ovulating. I am not taking my BBT or using OPK's yet but I'm just beginning. DH and I were fighting and/or he was too tired to BD on days 10-13 sooo I may have missed it. Anyway I should be starting AF tomorrow and I'm praying I do. I really want to have normal cycles at least. Since I was always on BC and Met when I was diagnosed I never knew if it was one or the other making me regular. I've also lost 8 lbs since starting it too. Yay me! :) My goal is 30. Small steps here, trust me. Since I can't excercise- due to the back problem, 30 is a realistic goal. IF I reach 30 then I will go for 40 and then 50 and then so on. I'm just too lazy, and I looooooooove carbs so much that I can't quite do the IR diet or the Atk.ins. So my goal now is to call my back surgeon and work with him during all my TTC. I also have an OB appt. on monday the 23rd. I hope I get sent to an RE. I have an endocrinologist but never been to an RE. So anyway onto the name of the title. My husband is out of town, again. How am I supposed to TTC with a husband who is gone at least 1-2 days a week? I hate this job he has where it was never mentioned he would be out of town, then it was "occasionally", and now its every goddamn week. And last week I had my BFN and I was heartbroken about it because it was my first month of actual actual trying. And as we're discussing it he says to me "Well if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen." I looked at him and said thats not an option for me. I don't think he get how much I want my own baby. I want to adopt too, I've always wanted to adopt, but I need my own baby too. On a lighter note he is obscessed with looking at houses and once we get a house I think he'll be more into baby stuff. At least I'm hanging onto that hope. Well thats it for now. I'm off to bed- by myself. Ugh.