BFN Blues

So today I have the BFN blues. I know DH and I are repairing our marriage and all that but as someone who knows what they want, and has wanted it all her life, it's still disheartening to get that BFN. I sit waiting, hoping for a miracle and maybe that 2nd line will magically show up. I took my prometrium every night, BD'd every other night from day 12 to day 28, trust me that took a lot of coercing! I know its not over yet, and like with most PCOSers I could have ovulated late which is why I made sure to BD up to day 28. It could still be too soon to tell but I have a feeling AF is on her way. Last night I had the most amazing dream. I was pregnant and I drove myself to the hospital. I didn't even care about the pain from the contractions and they kept asking me if I wanted my epidural and I just said no I want my baby. Finally I gave birth and they whisked it away and cleaned it up and brought it back with a binky in its mouth with a pink bow on it. My mom handed me my daughter and I just stared at her, amazed at how beautiful she was and how much she looked like DH. She had light blond hair and his nose and eyes, just perfect. I named her Addelyn Christine. My heart was filled with such joy I've never experienced, in real life or a dream. Then I woke up and realized it wasn't real and tried so hard to get back to that hospital bed with that baby in my arms. Anyway I just wanted to give a sort of update and write out my dream so I never forget it, not that I think I ever will.


Back update:
I am now seeing the 3rd doctor in the practice tomorrow. I'm going to meet him and hopefully set up an outpatient procedure called RFN, i think. They are going to go in and burn the nerves to my sacroiliac joint, to hopefully stop the pain. They are convinced this is where my chronic pain is now coming from since they've done all they could for my spine.

One last thing..I started a job this last Tuesday. It's a receptionist at a vet clinic. It's a lot of work but even though I'm still in pain I'm enjoying working those few hours a day. I think it will help me mentally, and help DH and I's marriage. All right I'm off to read other blogs in blogworld!