I am once again at home alone. My husband took a private plane to Texas yesterday for work. All Tuesday night I had high anxiety about him flying in a private plane. I'm sure people fly in these things all the time, but they scare the heck outta me. Thank goodness he made it there safely, but now I have to worry about him flying home tomorrow. I hate being here alone this much. I don't mind a night here and there but this is the second time this month he's been gone multiple nights.
Yesterday I put in an application for a job that is a little bit further away from where I am at now but it pays more. A LOT more. Like $4 more an hour and they are hiring full time. I could save up lots of money for fertility treatments!
Speaking of treatments, (TMI ahead) I finally started! I'm only on day 38 or so. Ugh. But I get to start the Fem.era on day 5. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. I've been googling side effects and obviously didn't find anything I would like to hear. But since the Clo.mid didn't work, I am hoping, praying, begging someone- anyone to please let this work. Things have been going great around here and it makes me happy. I'm not usually a happy, bubbly person and I'm the type that always seems happy when I'm not. You know, making jokes to hide it all. People would never know how troubled I am or how depressed I can get. For the past week or so things have been good though. I've snapped out of my "funk" I was in.
I've also been walking a lot lately. Like more than I ever have in my life. Miles at a time. I have a few girls from work who have been meeting me at my house and we've been going on 2-4 mile walks every other day. My back has been amazing and I've been feeling so good and ready to get out there and lose this weight. I want a baby so bad and I'm finally motivated to get off my butt and work hard for it. I want this more than anything and I intend to do my hardest to make my dream come true.
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